Money, for some, is a source of anxiety and fear. Rather than being an empowering tool, it becomes a constant source of stress, something to avoid at all costs. If you tend to put off financial tasks, dread checking your bank account, or even steer clear of discussing money, you may be falling into the category of "the avoider."
The avoider’s relationship with money is defined by fear and anxiety which can make managing finances feel overwhelming and even impossible.
The Mindset of the Avoider
At the core of the avoider’s mindset is a deep-rooted fear: The fear of failure, fear of not having enough, or the fear of making mistakes. Money often represents more than just an exchange of goods or services; it symbolises security, success, or even self-worth. For the avoider, facing the realities of their financial situation triggers anxiety, causing them to procrastinate or disengage entirely.
The avoider may ignore bills, avoid looking at their bank statements, or delay financial planning in the hopes that the situation will resolve itself. Unfortunately, this usually only exacerbates the problem. The longer they avoid, the more stress and uncertainty builds up, leading to a vicious cycle of financial neglect and mounting anxiety.
The Root Causes of Money Avoider
The fear of money can be traced back to several key factors:
- Financial Trauma or Insecurity: Growing up in a household with financial instability or experiencing a significant financial crisis can create lasting anxiety about money. For some, the fear of repeating past financial hardships can make it seem easier to avoid dealing with finances altogether.
- Overwhelm: For many, the complexity of managing money can feel paralysing. The thought of budgeting, saving, or planning for the future might seem too frightening, especially when life is already filled with other stressors.
- Perfectionism and Shame: The desire to "get it right" can prevent action. If you feel like you’re not capable of managing money perfectly, the fear of failure can make you avoid taking any action. The shame of feeling "behind" or not measuring up to societal expectations around wealth can lead to avoidance as well.
- Fear of Judgement: Money can be a deeply personal and even shameful subject. The fear of being judged or criticised for your financial situation can make it easier to ignore the problem than face it.
The Hidden Costs of Avoidance
While avoiding money-related tasks might bring temporary relief, the long-term consequences can be serious. Financial avoidance often leads to:
- Mounting Debt: Ignoring bills or not managing credit cards can quickly spiral into unmanageable debt. Late fees, interest rates, and penalties can all add up, making the situation even harder to resolve.
- Missed Opportunities: Without a clear understanding of your financial situation, you may miss opportunities for savings, investments, or even budgeting strategies that could improve your financial health.
- Increased Stress and Anxiety: The longer you avoid dealing with money, the more overwhelming the problem becomes. Financial anxiety can also start to affect other areas of life, leading to a lack of sleep, emotional distress, and strained relationships.
Breaking the Cycle: Facing Your Fears
Overcoming money avoidance requires a shift in mindset and a series of small, manageable steps. Here are a few strategies to help break free from the cycle of fear and anxiety:
- Start Small: Rather than diving into complex financial tasks, start with something simple. Set a goal to check your bank account once a week or review a recent bill. The key is to ease into the process without overwhelming yourself.
- Seek Support: You don’t have to face financial anxiety alone. If you’re struggling, consider seeking professional advice from a financial coach, advisor or therapist who specialises in money-related stress. They can offer guidance and help you reframe your relationship with money.
- Create a Financial Plan: Having a clear financial plan can reduce anxiety. Start by setting small, achievable goals, such as saving a set amount each month or paying off a specific bill. The sense of progress will help build confidence and reduce fear.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Financial anxiety often comes with feelings of shame or guilt. It’s important to recognise that everyone struggles with money at times, and making mistakes is part of the learning process. Be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.
- Break the Cycle of Procrastination: The more you put off dealing with money, the harder it becomes. Commit to taking action, even if it’s a small step. Over time, taking action will help you build momentum and reduce the anxiety surrounding finances.
Conclusion
Money avoidance is a common issue, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding the fears and anxieties that fuel your avoidance, you can begin to take small, proactive steps to address your finances. Remember, confronting your fears doesn’t have to mean perfection, it simply means making progress and gaining control over your financial situation.
Taking charge of your finances can bring a sense of empowerment and relief, helping to break the cycle of fear. The first step is acknowledging your fears, and the next is taking action. The more you face your financial reality, the less it will control you, allowing you to take charge of your financial future with confidence.
